in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
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