Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
are you so shy because you have an std?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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