Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize