when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
Where is the hickey?
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
