you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
