Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
