I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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