told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
