I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
