he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
