If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
