woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Randomize
