I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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