Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
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