I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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