i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I use my feet as sexual weapons
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
