I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
she pinky promised me she was 18
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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