I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
