I hate your face
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
