only if we run a train.
done.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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