He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
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