he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
