Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Reggie can tackle my bush.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
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