If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Randomize