Betty ford says i'm here all night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
