And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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