ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
now i know why i became what i already was.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
