so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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