Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
