I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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