I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
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