Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I want to walk on stilts...naked
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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