she was so not down for the gang bang
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
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