Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
Randomize