He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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