You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
We are all done wearing pants today
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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