What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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