The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
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So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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