her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
