I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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