i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I met the friendliest cop last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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