The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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