You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
