What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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