I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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