I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.