Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.