I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck