So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed