apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
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