the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
