I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize