I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
we're so committed to being not committed
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
