I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
