Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
