piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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