he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
