I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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