Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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