i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
