Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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