All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
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Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
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Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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